The Idea: Of all the problems in organizations, self-deception might be the most problematic. It is a problem because the only thing worse than lying to another is lying to one’s self. Humans have incredibly malleable minds, and this phenomenon has been well documented in the classic book Leadership and Self-Deception by The Arbinger Institute. It reminds us that self-betrayal (or self-deception) distorts our view of reality, our view of self, and of others. It’s a sign of unchecked leadership.
Are you guilty of resisting others’ feedback or of suffering from self-deception?
When we justify our decisions it is a sign that we are covering up the truth. We do it when we mislead on sales calls, or on personal reflections; we do so all the time. It encourages a culture of self-deception without even knowing it.
A recent Harvard Business Review article shared that employees often times cope with the pressure of their jobs in three ways:
- Forty-three percent just accept the pressure and try to make the best of it.
- Twenty-seven percent act as if all things are well but are secretly trying to jump ship.
- Thirty percent share their concerns honestly, even though many leaders are not open to their push back.
The research sponsored by Boston University and Harvard shows us once again that you have to work hard to uncover the truth. They found that seventy percent of people are either choosing not to discuss problems or bury it because they are checked out.
The healthiest leaders are comfortable confronting the truth. And we need cultures that reward and teach how to conduct healthy dissent or push back.
The researchers found that people who don’t confront truth ultimately pay the price for their lack of honesty. They are not embracing their own leadership persona, stunting growth in all parts of their life.
What does it say about you if you don’t encourage push back?
The researchers asked pointed questions, pushing leaders to get real about the cultures they are creating. Are you celebrating leaders who ask difficult questions (rewarding creative tension) or do you reward on the peaceful ones on your team?
There are over 58,000 books offered through in print with the word “leadership” in the title. The business of leadership is difficult, we all have flaws, and we are all on that journey.
Harvard Leadership professor Bill George reminds us that “Leadership is not about traits it is about your life story, and understanding others’ stories.” It’s about getting to the truth.
Acceleration of change means leaders must be innovative & adaptable while encouraging a culture of openness, candor, and honesty. This means we must all learn to confront difficult conversations and disagreement.
It is time to unlearn and relearn a few things. Seventy percent of the reasons someone leaves a company is because of the leader; we need to relearn what that means. Likely, they don’t feel valued or recognized, but a lack of trust or confidence in a leader is a problem rooted in self-deception. We all need to ensure that we are hearing the truth, and this occurs by encouraging dissenting voices.
Have you been lying to yourself without even knowing it?
