Fear is only as deep as the mind allows. -Japanese Proverb

THE IDEA:  Do you feel defensive or fearful, safeguarding yourself, secretly not wanting to get hurt?  Does that sound familiar?  Last Monday morning, I revisited my orthopedic surgeon who replaced my knee years ago, hoping to gain some insight into how to eliminate the chronic pain I still experience.  Fifteen minutes into our discussion he looked at me and said “Dan I don’t think this is a knee problem. Your hips are shot. Both joints don’t have cartilage anymore, and you are now bone on bone.”  First, I dropped an expletive.  Seconds later, I took a breath and looked at my wife Michele, wondering how I got here.  My past due invoice from sports activity had finally come due.

I’m having my first of two hip replacements this week, with my second in a couple of months.   I am feeling anxious but here is why I am telling you this: after years of physical therapy, I am fearful I may still have lots of chronic pain after these upcoming procedures.  Then what’s next?  I am keeping my emotional guard up because I feel physically vulnerable.  I am playing defense again, not wanting to be disappointed.  This is the story

I have told myself over the last 10 years and it comes at a cost.

  • When things don’t go well, do you experience defensiveness, or do you choose to stay hopeful?
  • Are you believing lies about yourself that strangle your ability to remain open and try something new?
  • Do you listen to a nagging inner voice that often takes you out of the game, stealing the possibility of the future?

I believe these upcoming hip procedures are a great next step to less chronic pain, freedom, and access to outdoor experiences that I love in my life.  But I keep hearing that voice in my head, level-setting my expectations, and protecting against disappointment – kind of like being a Detroit Lions fan, which I am also.  You learn to protect your heart from disappointment.

Ironically, I received the news about needing two hip replacements, less than 12 hours after my Lions lost a 17-point lead to San Francisco in the NFC Championship game last week.  It was a difficult day.

I spend a lot of time coaching and assisting others to expand their self-awareness, confronting the lies that hold them back, and trying new behaviors to set them up for success. As I look in the mirror today, I must confront my own limiting beliefs.  When I protect my heart from being disappointed, I become too emotionally on guard and not open to hope and possibilities.

Here are three questions to ponder:

  1. Are you vulnerable enough to let yourself be seen by others, secure enough to NOT look perfect, and courageous enough to challenge some of your old internal scripts that no longer serve you?
  2. Are you honest enough to confront the limiting patterns (or beliefs) that hinder you, and strong enough to look in the mirror, confronting your own internal fears?
  3. Do you share with your teammates, friends, and family what you are working on in your own life? And are you comfortable asking for help, critique or even coaching?

This week I’m embracing “hope” that my two upcoming hip replacement procedures will open new doors, and less pain.   I’m practicing not protecting my heart from the fear of disappointment, and I am trying to operate with excitement, vulnerability, and even gratitude.

What mindset or lies are holding you back?  What does this cost you?

I encourage you to find the courage to fiercely confront that inner voice.

Feel the fear and do it anyway. -Susan Jeffers