The Idea: Most people are not as persuasive as they think they are. People hate to be sold to, and yet most people are always selling. When you are trying to persuade, remember that people only buy what they discover themselves.
But people don’t like being sold, so how can you truly be an effective persuader if you are always selling? We need not look much further than Blaise Pascal to realize truths about persuasion. He reminds us:
“When we wish to correct with advantage, and to show another that he errs, we must notice from what side he views the matter, for on that side it is usually true, and admit that truth to him, but reveal to him the side on which it is false.”
This is the most important part of what Pascal is saying about persuasion: it is characterized by an ability to illuminate blindspots, and the need to do so in a non-aggressive way.
Think about the last time you had a blindspot while you were driving. You could see almost everything perfectly! The fact that you couldn’t see past your blindspot doesn’t mean you were wrongfully driving, it just means that you weren’t 100% correct. Blindspots are ironic in that they do not convey absolute wrongs, only partial wrongs.
Persuasion works in the same way. In order to persuade someone, you also need to validate the truths that someone does have. Before you consider what you want from your customers, first consider what they want and more importantly, where they are right?
Pascal reminds us, “People are generally better persuaded by the reasons which they have discovered than by those which come into the minds of others.”
When you are trying to persuade, remember that people only buy what they discover themselves.
