The Idea: A professor once said to me, “Arguments suck because you either come off hard-headed, or you must assume that you may be wrong.” Many executives and companies either reject the truth or worse yet, fail to listen to it. If you are not a professional listener, discouraged employees and customers will walk, and they won’t tell you why. We must listen to what is not being said. Great listeners are active, and they understand it is a discipline on par with strategy, sales, marketing and team development. Listening means progress.
Why is listening so underdeveloped?
- It’s easy to forget that listening is an immersive experience. The oft-mentioned 93% of communication is via tone and body language, so only 7% of communication is in the words. We forget to not only listen, but listen fully, appreciating context, body language and how people are acting.
- Secondly, when we aren’t patient, we don’t “listen between the lines.” What is not stated is often times more convincing than what is stated.
Author and philosopher Henri Nouwen reminds us, “Somewhere we know that without silence, words lose their meaning, that without listening, speaking no longer heals, that without distance closeness cannot cure.” You will never optimize your business and relationships unless you allow for space to listen.
Listening is both an art and critical to life success. And most people are not encouraged, nor recognized for their listening skills. Often in this culture, great listeners are categorized as weak leaders. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
Only 2 percent of people have ever had any formal education on how to listen. Most of us listen at a rate of 125-250 words per minute, but think at 1,000-3,000 words per minute – creating a deficit in communication. With an economy drowning in content, it’s no wonder we are forced to think faster and listen less, but this mentality is backwards.
People with great influence are professional listeners. They practice asking for and setting an atmosphere encouraging honest feedback. Their teams are comprised of people who align with the vision but dissent.
Remember that listening is immersive and takes time, but only then are you actually listening. Listening is active, relentless and assertive. It is a skill that uncovers what is both stated and unstated. Are you training yourself to listen?
